An adult out of control is terrifying to a child. I often hid when father raged. Mother never protected me from father. My brothers and sister teased me until I would scream in frustration. I got really depressed and wanted to commit suicide. I was sent for therapy. The family is smart and knows what goes on in therapy, the family is talked about. I’m realizing now my family are really talented liars. I’m still in the process of sorting out my years in therapy and the family’s role in it. As much as I want acknowledgement of the pain they caused, are causing me, I’m realizing I will never get it.
I’m in the process of emotionally detaching myself from my family. I’m learnimg that the opposite of love is not hate, but detachment. Detachment is keeping me from being as easily hurt as I once was. Detaching lets me interact with them and still retain my sense of self. The family has shaped and formed who I was before, but I’m not letting them dictate who I am now. This is a very hard struggle for me, this is as far as I’ve come.
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