Ingredients:
psychiatrists with their never ending questions
me, a patient, confused and afraid
various neuroleptic and anti-depressant drugs
Directions for preparation:
Start with one psychiatrist who wants to know me. Mix me up really good with questions aimed to prove that I suffer from delusions.
Add:
Stelazine and mellaril to help me overcome my delusions.
Elavil to combat the anxiety that all these questions are eliciting.
The family to bind and confine me.
While stirring me up add these questions, either one at a time or together:
Are you sure this happened?
Are you certain that you couldn’t be wrong?
Are you positive that this happened as you said it did?
Liberally sprinkle it with these comments:
You know you often mistaken phrases and words to mean other than what I mean.
You know you often perceive things in a different manner than what it’s meant to be.
You know you often mistakenly believe you heard differently than what I said.
While mixing well, stir in these words:
Paranoid schizophrenic
Bipolar depression
Schizoaffective disorder
Borderline personality disorder
Hallucinatory experiences
Delusional
Paranoid
Arrogant
Conceited
Attention seeker
Controller
Mix well and stir vigorously for the next 28 years.
Give it 6 years to rise.
Let rest 2 years
Result: a very paranoid, confused woman suffering from Tardive Dyskinesia and Tardive Dystonia.
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