My family was very upset with me because I made a decision concerning my health care without consulting them. I never asked them for advice concerning a biopsy on my vocal cord but had made an agreement with the ENT to postpone the biopsy. My medication management psychiatrist was frustrated with as I kept refusing to transfer all my care to him. I’m not sure how or what my psychotherapist thought of me, all I know the therapist was frustrated with me too.
I woke up in a psych hospital with scabs on both sides of my head. I asked the staff if I had been given ECT and all I was told was to let the scabs fall off naturally. After I was discharged I received the insurance report stating I had been at another hospital before being transferred to the psych hospital I woke up in. I asked my parents why I was at the other hospital and they told me I never was there. I also asked my parents if the psychs had given me ECT. I was reassured there was no way the parents would permit ECT to be performed on me.
I went back in my insurance records and discovered I had been at that other hospital twice before. A friend told me ECT is done at that hospital. All the family needs to do is get a court order. I’m sure the therapist I was seeing once a week was consulted to see if ECT was needed. My psychiatrist must have been consulted too. A lot of people went thru much trouble to hide the fact I was at the other hospital, but insurance records don’t lie.
There is nothing I can do except accept the fact ECT was given to me per my family’s request. I felt so helpless, so powerless, so confused by everyone being evasive and not directly answering my questions. When I found out the other hospital does administer ECT, a deep feeling of sadness overcame me.
I realized a lot of people tried to help me. I know they meant well but if they were made aware of all the consequences of their actions will they change? I doubt it. I am a labeled person and what I say is dismissed as signs of my disease reemerging.
I don’t know why my family ordered the psychs to give me ECT. I only know whenever I showed any signs of independence my family saw to it I would become even more dependent upon them.
It took three separate hospitalizations, all done in secrecy, to make me so unemotional. As much as the family and various doctors provoke me, I do not react. I know people are not happy with the results. I have been told by my mother how much she wants the person I was back again.
I am an ACON, an Adult Child of Narcisstic Parents. I am also a Psychiatric Survivor. Much of what you will read will shock and amaze you, that things like this can happen to someone. I am not alone, it has happened, is happening still, to too many people.
About Me
- acorn
- It is wrong not only to kill a mockingbird, but to silence one as well.
1 comment:
Acorn,
I am sorry, I feel sorry about the thing which happened to you that you describe in this post. The reality, which I was myself reminded of literally minutes ago in my own situation, is that people exist who are not quite sentient of basic, human things. You are exposed to some people whom I wish you were not exposed to, had not been exposed to, and whom I wish you can become even more independent from in the future than you have already -- through your strength -- made yourself.
It's so weird that there are people like the senseless liars and manipulators that you have become so unfairly exposed to.
Even if their sheep's clothing fool the perception of normal people (because it makes no sense that there exists wolves, so to speak), my opinion is that such wolves -- which I too unfortunately know about, although I have not had to endure what you have, which I don't think I could have endured anyway by the way -- my opinion is that such wolves do not deserve to be treated as the sheep they dress themselves to seem like. In other words, they don't deserve to be treated like normal human beings, which they are not.
I wish you independence, freedom, health, happiness, and all those nice things that your personal qualities are capable of relating to, which is a lot of nice things.
antaraaya
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