Saturday, March 31, 2007

Look Past the Name and Seet the Person

The doctor took one look at me and told my parents, this baby is delusional. I never knew how he came to that conclusion, but since he pronounced me delusional since birth, that became my designated name.
I was a dreamer, always was and always will be. I started to have dreams of a better life, of a family who loved and cherished me. I felt unloved and unwanted by my birth family. I made up a pretend family who would come and take me away and I’d be happy with my real family.
I told this to one of the psych staff at the hospital I was in and that only proved I was appropriately named Delusional. I then started to have dreams of helping others, of setting up a coffee house where us patients could come and meet and be safe. I was asked what I meant by the word “safe” what did I believe patients needed to be safe from? I proved again I was appropriately named Delusional.
I go from doctor to doctor seeking help, but when I write my name Delusional, I’m turned away with the usual, everything you’re experiencing is in your head, a psychiatrist is the one you really should be seeing as they are best trained to treat people like you.
No one can see the person, all they see is the name Delusional on the piece of paper and I’m prejudged accordingly. I have seen many doctors and not one can see past the name to the person.
The original doctor didn’t either. He never saw the baby, all he saw was delusions. His mistake has affected all my treatment for all of my life.

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