Being aware
It’s all fine and good that I no longer take responsibility or feel responsible for how another acts or reacts to an action of mine. I thought that was all there was to this, not being responsible for others but only being responsible for myself. I realized I need to be aware of how my actions may affect others. I need to take into account what I know of that person, their background. In this way I can modify my actions so that I can act more responsibly.
It’s a matter of showing kindness, empathy, and consideration for that person and their experiences. I am not being responsible for that person, I am considering and respecting who they are and how they may feel. I still have the freedom to act as I feel is right, for me, but also, for them. I can control and modify my behavior so as not to deliberately offend or make the other defensive and behave in an offensive manner towards me.
I realize I need to modify my behavior and consider each and every person I’m interacting with. I cannot control how another person reacts to me, I can only be aware of myself and how I may affect others.
For example, swearing. Some people take offense at certain words, but others words are acceptable. It’s for me to respect how that other person feels about certain words and avoid using those words when I’m with them. I show respect for that person.
Respect for all living things is what my life is about. I show respect by actions, words, and deeds, not only for myself but also for others. I will not degrade myself or others, and if others should feel degraded or take offense by what I say, I will not dismiss it as just their problem, it’s both our problem. I realize something I did caused the other to feel offended, it’s up to me to identify the problem and find a way around it so the next time a similar situation arises, the same reaction won’t occur.
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1 comment:
This topic is super central as I see it; you describe what I think of as natural behavior -- and the only reason this is an issue, as I think of it anyway, is that there are those who exploit the feelings of normal people and "push buttons" in order to manipulate through for example creating feelings of guilt. What you say sounds like you identified this and decided to not be a victim of such manipulation and to instead act from what is right for You instead of what others try and guilt you into. And now you completed the process, so to speak, by going back to considering others' feelings. But this time, as I imagine it, it is different because you know that even though respect and empathy is good, some people try and set up traps and exploit empathy. But now that you know, you can afford to show and practice empathy towards those who deserve it, because you know to protect yourself from the traps and guilt manipulation of false people. This is how I think about your post. On a side note, I want to add that people who use others' empathy to hurt them -- to ensnare and cripple them, those people are at the very core of the principle of destruction. To me, that is evil in its truest and most vile form.
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