I’m doing very well tapering off remeron. I’ve been able to cut down by 10mg and I’m still doing well. Sad to say the alternative medical clinic where I thought I would get help and support, I’m not. Not at all. I realized by going ahead with a taper without consulting anyone there, without asking anyone there for their permission or advice I’m deliberately trying to be provoked into an anger reaction. Happy to say none of the practitioners are getting what they want.
It’s just a repeat of the emotional abuse I endured as a child and as a psych patient which I have gone in great detail with the therapist I see at the clinic. When I saw the doctor there I wondered why she repeatedly misheard the medication I was asking for, lyrica. She kept telling me celebrex. When she read off one medication after another on the medication sheet I always give her I finally had to say, since she skipped lyrica, it’s the medicine that’s 75mg. The alternative medical doctor had no choice but to give me what she forced me to beg her for. Some alternative medical treatment. Abuse is abuse even when abuse is called help.
I went back in my hospital records and this was my drug cocktail back in May, 2004 when I was hospitalized because I was termporarily paralyzed from the neck down.
I did check my pharmacy records because I could not believe I would agree to this:
Klonopin 0.05mg 5 HS
Remeron 45mg 1HS
Eskalith-CR 450mg 1 BID
Seroquel 200mg 4HS
Geodon 20mg 4am, 4pm

As for my temporary paralysis being psychosomatic, manifestations of an emerging character/personality disorder, I do believe I have every right and every reason to be angry, outraged, and very mistrusting of the psych and medical community.
I am very sad realizing that even alternative medicine is trying to prove what psychiatry said about me is right. That I am very mentally ill and that I do need psych drugs for the rest of my life. I do feel betrayed because I trusted the therapist there. Psychiatry and the medical communities hate to be wrong, especially when both communities know they have been and are still being very very wrong about me. All I can say is what I am doing, how I am responding to the repeating of the emotional abuse is not stopping medicals and a psych from continuing to emotionally abuse me. I’ll find a good reason to leave this alternative medical clinic so my abusers there cannot blame my leaving on some mental illness.
All I can say for sure, if I had not come off the abilify almost a year ago, no way would I be able to handle the increasing intensity of the emotional abuse I’m enduring. Medicals and psychs don’t want to be wrong about me. I say too bad because they are. Just because they can’t live with their mistakes doesn’t mean I have to keep covering their behinds. They are showing me they all are more than capable of covering their behinds quite well without any help from me at all.